Change

Things in our house have been going through a major change. The Spy has shut down his small business and is heading to uni. Such a small sentence to write but such a HUGH change in our lives.

This means that The Spy is now home pretty much full time and has taken on all of the house hold duties so that I can focus on Baby Boo, Cricket and Bug. Sounds like a dream right? 

Remember that saying that if it sounds too good to be true it probably is?

This isn't exactly a new situation for us, when Bug was born The Spy had the first year off and we all stayed at home together, it was a blast and made the transition to a family much eaiser. This time around though I am in the mind set of the house being my domain, my work place and I know hpw I like things done (or not done) and The Spy has his way. If I am totally honest The Spy is MUCH better at getting the housework done, but he has a wife at home to look after the kids! 

The really good thing is that I haven't cooked since Baby Boo arrived and The Spy has been doing all sorts of fun things like baking biscuits and cooking meringues with cream and berries and making ginger and caramel slice! The floor is clean, the clothes are washed and the shopping is done and best of all the kitchen is sparkling clean.

So why am I feeling a bit miffed?

 



Great Help

If you have read even one book on baby care you will have read that with a new baby you should never say no to help.This can be a really difficult concept for many women. We are used to juggling overly busy lives before baby comes along and it is hard to imagine how a baby and home life could get on top of us. Just rest assured that it can and accepting any help offered is a smart move.
With our third baby I have been really blessed with help. Firstly, on Baby Boo's due date my mother in law arrived to stay for a week. Mother in laws often get a bad rap but mine was a dream!
Obviously by that point I was very pregnant, tired and feeling frustrated by Boo being over due. Ms H (mother in law) made her week stay bliss for me. I got to sleep in, the kids were taken care of and I had help with the school run. Best of all I didn't have to do any dishes! You should never underestimate the value of doing someones dishes. Especially when that someone is a very pregnant person that can't physically reach the sink without turning side ways and hurting her back.
So a big thank you to my mother in law, who sadly only had a week off work and had to return home before Baby Boo made her entrance.
My parents arrived the day before Ms H left. They took a ten hour drive to get here and with them came an esky full of meals- enough to feed us all. Bliss- no cooking!
Mum and dad also entertained the girls so that The Spy and I could have lunch together and also so that I could have some time alone before life was taken over with a new born! So thanks to mum and dad for yummy meals.
The most help has come from The Spy himself. For the last month my amazing husband has done everything. The cleaning, the cooking, shopping and washing. He has changed nappies, bathed children, read stories and kept track of school notes. He has bought me socks, made me milk shakes and cut up my dinner so I can eat and feed Baby Boo at the same time. He has done the school run whenever he can. He has made school lunches, RSVP'd to party invitations. He has made sure that visitors have morning tea and a hot drink. He has cleaned my car, fitted car seats and cleaned our pram. On top of all that he has also gone to work, often getting up at 4.30 am - the joy of running his own business. Nothing has been too much trouble. Oh and did I mention he totally reorganised the kitchen cupboards and the pantry?
I admit that I have been exceedingly lucky to have a month long baby moon. But the time to rest, settle in with Baby Boo, establish breastfeeding and ease into a new routine around the older kids has been priceless.
My advice, take any help you can get. Rest and enjoy your new born. It will be over way too fast.

Stay at home mum

The term "stay at home mum" seems to be spinning around in society's vocabulary at an increased rate lately. Personally I think it's an odd term, most mums would be stay at home mums, I mean where else would they stay? I would personally like to be a "stay at luxury penthouse mum" but that aint gunna happen!
It seems that there are only two pigeon holes for mums, stay at home mum or working mum, ridiculous really. Firstly, as a SAHM I am rarely home, I am often at the shopping centre, playgroup, swimming lessons, the park and on play/coffee dates! Home is kept for sleeping and refuelling. I dare say that a working mum has the same issues; she is in many more places than work with many more tasks to accomplish. The whole thing seems to boil down to the strange need to assign everyone a label, a nice little box to pop people into. It also makes it easier to judge people,
"Oh, you work".
"when will you go back to work?".
"so what do you DO?".
Wouldn't it be easier to view everyone as equal, every mother is a working mum who should be respected in the eyes of society ('bad' mothers not included!, mmm, judgement call maybe) to support each other and look out for children that we are trying to raise, the future of the world. Maybe, next time you have to fill in on of those forms that asks what you "do" fill in, 'moulder of the future' or some such title and offer no explanation. The next time you are at the park, smile at the women whose kids are running wild, she just might need it.
Do the best you can and see the best in everyone. And while you're at it be kind to the dads who make looking after their children their main focus, please do not assume it is 'custody day', it may be but that does not make anyone less of a parent.
Let's be kind, it takes a village to raise a child and a supported parent to sculpt the future.

Dads

We recently celebrated Fathers Day here in Oz, it's a day dedicated to all things dad. Now many people would gripe that Fathers Day has become too commercial, that it's all about gifts and how much you spend. The same argument is voiced for all special days, Christmas, Mothers Day, Easter etc. It is my belief that how commercialised a day becomes is a matter of choice, you can buy into it or you can choose not to. My husband told me of some fathers calling into a radio station discussion about Fathers Day gifts stating that nothing short of a new car would be suitable. But this is not my topic of discussion today. My topic is about the marketing and advertising that surrounds the day and the way dad's are portrayed.
Father's Day this year was celebrated with my husband, the father of my two girls, and my brother in law, the father of my nephews. We just had a lunch for us all and I did buy gifts for them both. Both of these men are wonderful fathers, they interact with their kids; they talk, play, hug, kiss and show their children that they love them. I am proud to call them my family and I have high hopes for the children under their influence. However the advertising that surrounds Fathers Day seems to portray a very different picture of the modern father, one ad I can recall labels them "the keeper of the lawn and the custodian of the remote". I don't know about most people but the remote can rarely be found in our house! And then there are the cards, dads that snore, that fart, that care too much about their power tools. Now I don't want to turn Fathers Day into a sappy day full of white fluffy bunnies and kittens with puppies, but really, our dad's deserve more than this. They do so much more than mow the lawn and change channels. They tend to scraped knees and broken hearts, they get up in the night to deal with the boogie monster. They provide birth support and change nappies. They cook, they clean and they wipe noses. They read stories, they tickle and they wrestle. They worry. They love.

I know lots of guys don't want to be too emotional but keeping in mind that dads are so much more than they seem might be our best bet.