Friday, 30 March 2012

Keep on walkin'

The Bug and I have been making a big effort to walk to and from school. It is a great money saver, it gives her and I some time together to just chat and studies have shown that children that are active before school do very well at remembering what they have learnt that day.
On Thursday last week I headed out the door pushing Baby Boo in her pram. There was a thin band of dark cloud in the sky but the rest was blue, as blue could be. On the way to school a few large rain drops feel on my head but nothing major. Then it rained a little, just a little mind, nothing really serious. Once at school it started a slow, steady rain. I put the rain cover on the pram, put my hat on my head and got the Bug to put her hat on too. The sky got darker and the rain slowly got heavier. Half way home The Spy turned up in the car, The Bug jumped in with relief. I opted to keep walking, Baby Boo had just fallen asleep and was snug and dry in the pram and the rain was still fairly light. The Spy drove off into the distance and I walked on. The sky got darker and the rain started to pour down on me. I was getting VERY wet, drenched in fact. My shirt was soaked, my jeans stuck to me, water dripped off the peak of my cap and my shoes slowly filled with water till my socks squelched.
It was uncomfortable.
I found myself trudging through very unpleasant weather conditions.
And I was giggling, then I was laughing and grinning like a fool.
Walking home in the pouring rain, drenched to my skin was hilarious!
 I couldn't stop grinning, even when the Police wagon drove passed twice!
In my head it all became a metaphor for life.
When the heavens open up and rain (or pour) on you parade.
When things get uncomfortable and unpleasant and difficult.
You can choose to get upset and angry and hide under cover or you can have a laugh at an absurd situation, plant a smile on your face and keep on walking!

Thursday, 15 March 2012

I had a homebirth, what's it to you?

One down side to being a mum is the competition. Mums like to push their way of doing things as the right/best way and any other way is wrong!
I was recently reminded of this while reading an opinion based piece, on a large female focused website, entitled, "Is hating hospitals a reason to give birth at home?"
The piece it self was really just fluff taking a shot at Danni Minogue for wanting a home birth and didn't raise anything new. Then I read the comments, seriously- I did-  silly, I know!

The comment section of so many sites is a place of ego stroking. The place that many go to make their parenting choice the best choice. The place they go to bash other people's choices.
In this instance, the comments included such things as;
  • If you have a home birth you are stupid/selfish/a bad mother/don't care about the baby/a child abuser
  • That your birth experience is unimportant, that it is all over in a short time and should be all about the baby anyway
  • That, if you are a nurse/midwife, willing to state that you have seen the problems caused by hospital intervention but have never seen a problem with a home birth, you must be a liar.
  • That being defined by your birth choice is idiotic
  • In short, if your choice is not with the mainstream and everyone else, you made a  big, fat, wrong decision.
At first I was so, so mad, livid, eyeball poppingly FURIOUS!

  • How DARE you insinuate that I am less intelligent because I birthed at home
  • How DARE you accuse me of being a bad mother
  • How DARE you assume knowledge of EVERY other women's hospital experience
  • How DARE you try to remove a legitimate birthing choice for women
Then, after a few days cooling off, I realised how sad the situation really is.
These people, who have logged on, left their comment extolling their choice as the best, safest and only sane choice. Then they log off and go about their day, feeling all superior knowing that they are SO much better then those silly home birth supporters. Knowing that their comment will cause anger and upset and being happy because it will show 'those' women to be crazy, just like they said they are.

  • I call you out.
  • I call you ill informed.
  • I call you gullible to what you read in the media.
  • I call you insecure in your choices.
  • I call you closed minded.
  • I call you judgmental for no good reason.
  • I call you out on being snarky at women that allow their birth choice to define them, because you just used birth choices to define women. Women you don't know, or care about or are likely to bother ever knowing.

I had two of my three births at home, they are all healthy and I love them dearly.
I am different to you judgemental anti home birthers because, while I may not approve of your birth choice, I will support it.
I will trust that MOST women will make the best choice for them and their family.

I support and fight for your choice to birth the way you wish.
Will you support mine?
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